69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
