let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
