i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
