6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
