idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
