sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
