we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
