But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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