HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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