just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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