so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
