Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
two words: eviction party
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
