Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny

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(562): View more from California

I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.

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(469): View more from Texas

I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.

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(415): View more from California

It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??

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