i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
