You work out of a Hotel?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
