Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
