I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
