i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Say something about gay babies.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
