So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
