Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
