This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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