you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
