So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
