I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
