just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
