I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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