Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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