covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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