Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
