I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
