Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
