But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
