I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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