Non-Jews are for practice
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
