Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
