Just fell off a train. Bad.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Drake has all the answers
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
