In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
