Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you traded sex for a burrito?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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