It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
