dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I enjoy the company of your penis
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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