My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
