My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
