watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
