Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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