the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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