I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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