I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
How does one acquire holy water?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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