I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
