She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
