I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
