Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
