You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
